Have you ever gotten fired or laid off and felt like you just got dumped by a boyfriend of girlfriend?
It’s an easy comparison because both feel like it wasn’t worth it to the other person to keep you around. There can always be logical reasons like restructuring or downsizing but that usually doesn’t make you feel any more secure about yourself and your abilities. While it may feel personal, it almost always isn’t. Here are a few ways to cope with the emotions of a job turnover.
Let yourself grieve.
Whether or not a lay off is rational, it still hurts. Until it’s easier to embrace logic and reason, let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. To do anything else will just lead to more frustration. You wouldn’t tell a friend to hurry their grieving if someone died, and so don’t hurry yourself. This also involves moving through your emotions without judgment. Look to a friend who is safe to dump your feelings on and listens rather than bombards you with unsolicited advice.
Further build your support system.
Beyond your friends, think about who can help you get through this time. Examples may be a professional mentor you met at a networking group, an old college professor, or a professional career counselor. These people can help you rebuild your confidence and identify your weak spots. Think about who you can trust for honest feedback and who will shoot straight with you. One question you can ask them is, “Where have I improved the most and least in the time you’ve known me?”
When it’s time, make a plan.
Just like with a romantic breakup, over time the nauseous feeling in your stomach when you think about the separation starts to go away. It’s now that you really need to jump on making a plan for your next steps. Start with looking at the facts of what happened. Consider what you may have been lacking that led to the ending of your tenure. At the same time, make a list of your accomplishments too so that you can focus on those with a new employer. Over time, you may come to the conclusion that you weren’t in the right role and the push to move on was for the best.
Bottom line, getting fired or laid off hits almost everyone really hard.
The reality can trigger all kinds of deep-seated emotions about your worthiness and create a massive feeling of powerlessness. The key is to take the time needed to process everything you’re feeling and subsequently make a plan. The work you’ll do will cause you to come out ahead and possibly land an even better job.
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